Summering in Puerto Vallarta

 

Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco, MX  late in July, 11:30 AM – in my office…I am sitting at my desk, clad in a pair of plaid shorts and flip flops, a clip-on fan is noisily pushing cool air past my face, the veranda door is completely open, to an overcast sky foretelling more rain this day.  Current temperature is 82 degrees F (feels like 90), humidity 79% with a 40% chance of rain – in other words a normal early summertime day. 

We have A/C in 3 different rooms; however, it’s seldom used, except when we entertain friends, rather we use the ceiling fans which are in each room, both bathrooms, both verandas, and I´m still trying to figure how to place one in the pantry.  The afternoon dip in the swimming pool is also an effective way to beat the heat along with a cool cervesa or an iced tea.

There seems to be quite a few ex-pats in town this season (as opposed to traveling) and many fun activities to participate in, e.g., Saturday evenings´, “Christmas in July” dinner, sponsored by the International Friendship Club, at the River Café (turkey and trimmings), fashion show, and drinks.  Amazingly the turkey dinner was quite good!  Almost a 100 persons were in attendance.  Gary Beck, of Beck´s Best, is still having his Gary´s Groupies dining out dinners, and we are still getting requests for Essence of Cuisine Cooking School classes.

The following is offered for your laughing pleasure – Caution it’s all very true.  I´ve given you some that I´ve found are absolute from an original list of 16.

Puerto Vallarta driving tips (according to Harvey)

Taken from Puerto Vallarta Mirror - www.pvmcitypaper.com

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Vallarta driver never uses them.

 2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

 3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.

 4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear-ended.

 5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.

 6. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good way to scare people entering the highway.

 7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in Puerto Vallarta.

 8. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in Vallarta.

 9. Learn to swerve abruptly. Puerto Vallarta is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keeps them on their toes.

 10. It is traditional in Puerto Vallarta to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light changes.

 11. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

 12. Remember that the goal of every Vallarta driver is to get there first.

 

Hasta luego, mi amigos.